Why reclaiming your personal power isn’t selfish; it’s the key to thriving at home, at work, and within yourself.

Here’s powerful quote. Martin Luther King Jr had a spiritual advisor, Howard Thurman, and here is Howard’s quote:
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it.
Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

It’s a powerful idea. But for many, it feels unrealistic and even threatening.

1 AN UNSPOKEN TRUTH

Let’s be honest about a quiet burden many people carry:
• A wife who sacrifices her own dreams to raise children and support her husband’s career.
• A husband who stays in a soul-draining job to provide for his family.
• And many drift through life, going through the motions, unsure if they’re allowed to choose anything different.

These choices are often made with love, loyalty, and deep values. But over time they can become a burden: a quiet loss of identity, and a slow-burning resentment. And eventually, when the pressure becomes too much, it can lead to drastic action: walking out of jobs, relationships, or even retreating emotionally.

I know.
I’ve been there.
Waiting too long to choose yourself can cost you everything.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

2 A DANCE: SUPPORTING OTHERS AND BUILDING YOUR OWN POWER

Consider a different frame where there is a dance between supporting others and building your own power. Not a tug-of-war, but a dance.

A dance where there’s a rhythm in life between giving to others and feeding yourself.
A dance between supporting the greater good and building your own power.

Reflecting on the quote: Ask what makes you come alive?

On one hand, sacrificing for something larger than yourself brings meaning. Caring for family and contributing at work can make us come alive.

On the other hand, you also come alive when you invest in yourself:
By pursuing excellence, and by expressing your talents.

They’re not competing forces. They’re complementary energies.

3 FLIP THE SCRIPT: WHAT IF BUILDING YOUR OWN POWER BY CHOOSING YOURSELF STRENGTHENED EVERYTHING?

There’s a belief that if you choose yourself, and take time, invest in personal growth, follow your own dreams, then you’ll lose your job, your partner, your friendships.

But what if the opposite is true? What if feeding yourself and building personal power is encouraged?

In the book, 10X Is Easier Than 2X by Dan Sullivan with Dr Benjamin Hardy, examples reflect how highly successful people deepened their relationships while creating extraordinary results.

One of my own projects analyses U.S. Census data, and the Census defines ‘places’ to live. Exploring the relationship between expensive ‘places’ to live in the USA AND the percentage of married couple households, frequently 70% to 100% of households are married couples.

The point: stability and success are not mutually exclusive.

4 LIVING LIFE INTENTIONALLY

Think of your life as the sum of your energies:
• Physical energy: through activity, food, and rest
• Social energy: through family and friends
• Personal energy: through supporting others for the greater good and building your own power
• Work energy: through creativity and collaboration

When you live intentionally, you invest energy into all these parts:
• Following healthy diet or exercise habits can prevent a medical crisis later.
• In a similar way, reclaiming your personal power in small, steady doses can also prevent a crises later.
• And when families that allow each member to grow, then the entire system gets stronger.

5 WHAT THIS MEANS AT WORK – AND AT HOME

Let’s explore the interaction between employee and company.

• When employees live life intentionally and align with their unique strengths, they bring confidence and innovation to the workplace.
• Companies, too, are seeking differentiation, and that comes from individuals who are alive and purposeful.
• Both employees and companies can pursue a positive self-image.

In the dance between supporting others and building your personal power, it’s not either-or … it’s both.

FINAL THOUGHT: BECOME A CHAMPION

In my keynote and workshop, “Become a Champion – Own the Value of Your Uniqueness,” I guide people and teams to flip the script. Where sacrificing for something bigger than ourselves, and building your own power both contribute to a life where you “come alive”.

It’s not selfish to choose yourself.
It’s strategic. It’s sustainable. It’s powerful.

And it’s how you show up better – for yourself, your team, and those you love.